(Note: This is pretty much just my attempt to put what I know/remember about OCD into my own words. If you want solid info on the subject, read a book. Or at least some Wikipedia articles.)

OCD is one of many anxiety disorders (others include General Anxiety Disorder, Social Anxiety Disorder, Panic Disorder with or without Agoraphobia). Basically, if you have an anxiety disorder, you worry. A lot. In some cases, you worry about stuff that normal people don’t worry about. In others, you worry about stuff that normal people DO worry about, but WAY WAY MORE. If you’re super lucky, you do both.

Anxiety disorders can range from mildly troubling (subclinical) to TAKING OVER YOUR LIFE UNTIL YOU CAN’T FUNCTION OR EVEN ACT LIKE YOU’RE NORMAL (severe). They are not fun.

OCD stands for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. People suffering from OCD have Obsessions and Compulsions.

Obsessions are basically defined as persistent, unwanted thoughts or images which cause distress to some degree to the person they affect. Usually, for OCD sufferers, these are their worries. They are things the sufferer doesn’t WANT to worry about, and they have this horrible tendency to not go away. There are other ways obsessions present themselves. Gruesome, violent, disgusting and/or sexual thoughts or images can pop into a sufferer’s head, without warning, usually at the worst possible time. I once had a guy tell me his first obsession was a song that got stuck in his head and wouldn’t leave… for years. (But more about him later.)

Compulsions are the intentional actions and thoughts used to relieve the distress caused by obsessions. They may or may not logically have anything to do with the obsessions. They are often repetitive. They often involve strict routines. To an OCD sufferer, performing the compulsion seems necessary—they feel compelled to carry it out. The trouble with compulsions is, they only offer temporary relief from the anxiety caused by obsessions. The obsessions always come back to the person, who then repeats the compulsions for more temporary relief, and so goes the vicious cycle.

Actually, pretty much everyone has some obsessions and compulsions, which is where the D comes into play: if the obsessions and compulsions cause serious distress to a person, or interfere with their everyday life, it’s a Disorder.

As for this particular disorder? About one in fifty people have it. So chances are, even if you’re not here reading this because you or a loved one has it, someone you know has it. Actually, probably more than one person you know has it. Two or three of your Facebook friends probably have it (according to Facebook, the average user has 130 friends). Yet there’s still a distinct lack of understanding about it. Even scientists are still trying to understand it. Even people who have it tend not to understand it. I should know; I spent a good long time not understanding it myself. Which, I guess, is where this blog comes in. I’d like to help people understand it.

So, if you have any questions about OCD, please ask me, and I’ll do my best to answer. I might even put some effort into it. I’ll be honest, I wrote this post without checking any book or article or even Wikipedia page, because I’m lazy. I Googled two things quickly and inattentively to make sure I wasn’t actively misinforming people, but that’s it. Let me clarify: I have read books and articles and Wikipedia pages and seen videos and been told stuff by therapists on the subject in the past, so it’s not like I’m pulling this out of my ass. I’m just not being as exact and specific and detailed as I could be. So please, ask me questions. See that handy little bar under my picture that says “Ask me stuff”? Click it! Even (especially) if you’re just asking for clarification, or for me to expand on something I mentioned. I (probably) will answer them. To (somewhere around) the best of my ability. I’ll (maybe) even do the research before I post.

I’m Emilie. That’s not my real name, but you can call me that. I’m 18 years old. I live somewhere in California. I have a fairly severe case of obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), and several other health problems, most of which are related.

This blog will mainly be about my OCD, and any/everything which relates to it. It may, and probably will, be depressing, disgusting, disturbing, et cetera. I’ll try to update at least semi-regularly, but I’m pathologically lazy, so that might not happen. I guess my aim is for this to be a place where people with OCD can know that they’re not alone, share stories, commiserate, trade treatment ideas and so on and so forth, and for people who don’t have or know much about OCD to get insight into it. If anyone even reads it, that is. I honestly have no idea if people will—I don’t think I’ve ever had a blog that people besides my friends read—but it’s worth a shot. Anyway, even if no one reads it, documenting will probably be a good thing just for myself.

You could say I fancy myself a writer. You could also kindly note that I refrain from prefacing “writer” with any adjectives. My boyfriend says he sees me when I’m older going on some Oprah-esque show to promote my book that I wrote about my life. I kind of hope he’s right—mainly because I don’t think I’d publish a book without a happy ending.

Feedback would be great; please be polite about it, though. I mean, if you think I’m a stuck-up, self-involved ass, go right ahead and tell me, but spare my feelings and phrase it like, “I deeply regret to inform you that, after perusing your body of work, I have come to the unfortunate conclusion that you are a stuck-up, self-involved ass. Thank you for your consideration.” Or, you know, something along those lines.